What Happens When Baby Comes but Support Doesn’t: Why the ‘Village’ Is Still Missing
“You’ll have so much help.”
“Everyone comes together when a baby is born.”
“It takes a village.”
Those are the promises we’re fed. The cozy clichés. The beautiful ideas we want to believe.
But then baby comes.
And the messages slow down.
The meal train dries up.
The visitors taper off.
And you’re left holding this brand new life, completely changed, and wondering:
Where the hell is my village?
The truth is, most of us are parenting without one.
Not because we’re doing it wrong.
Not because we’re not “asking for help.”
But because the village — the real one — has been slowly disappearing for generations.
Why the village is gone (and it’s not your fault)
Modern parenthood exists inside systems that are not built to support families.
We’re talking about:
Two-week paternity leaves
Housing unaffordability
Long-distance families
Hyper-individualistic culture
Medical systems that discharge you 24 hours after birth
Social media that pressures you to “bounce back” before you’ve even healed
Let’s not forget: many people are parenting without partners, with complicated family dynamics, across cultural barriers, or while managing trauma and mental health needs.
The old model of grandparents down the street, aunties dropping by, neighbors showing up — that’s just not reality for so many anymore.
When support doesn’t show up, it doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of it.
It means we need to start telling the truth about how hard early parenting can be.
It means we need to stop romanticizing “doing it all.”
And it means we deserve to grieve what we thought we’d have.
It’s okay to feel let down.
It’s okay to feel resentful.
It’s okay to feel like you’re drowning.
You are not weak. You are unsupported. And those are not the same thing.
So what do we do when the village is missing?
We start by getting real about what support actually means.
Support isn’t just “someone holding the baby.”
It’s:
Someone dropping off groceries.
Someone texting to say, “You’re doing amazing.”
Someone taking your toddler for an hour so you can shower.
Someone listening without giving advice.
Someone sending you EI claim tips or helping you fill out forms.
Someone making you laugh when you’re on day 3 with no sleep.
It’s showing up. It’s checking in. It’s building connection — even in small, imperfect ways.
At Simple Smyles, we’re rebuilding the village — one conversation at a time.
We don’t have all the answers.
But we do believe:
You deserve better than to do this alone.
Postpartum support should be a right, not a luxury.
Real connection can be built in DMs, workshops, community pages, and car seat aisle convos.
You are allowed to ask for help again — even if it feels awkward.
Because the village didn’t disappear overnight.
And it won’t come back overnight either.
But we are out here — re-forming it. Reimagining it. Refusing to parent in isolation any longer.
Want to be part of our village?
Check out our prenatal and postnatal workshops, join our community group, or send this blog to someone who needs a reminder that they’re not alone.
We see you. We’re with you.
And we believe support should feel like home.