Queer Pregnancy + Postpartum: Holding Space for All Family Stories

There is no single story of pregnancy.
There is no one way to become a parent.
And yet, so many queer families still find themselves left out of the picture when it comes to pregnancy, birth, and postpartum care.

At Simple Smyles, we believe in holding space for every family story — with softness, intention, and a deep respect for identity, lived experience, and love in all its forms.

Whether you’re a queer, trans, or nonbinary birthing person, a same-sex couple growing your family, or navigating donor conception, adoption, surrogacy, or chestfeeding — you deserve to feel seen and supported.

The Problem: A System That Still Assumes

Despite progress in language and visibility, many healthcare systems still center their care around cisgender, heterosexual narratives. This can show up as:

• Forms that assume “mom + dad” only

• Providers using incorrect pronouns or gendered assumptions

• Language like “maternal” and “breastfeeding” without alternatives

• A lack of cultural competency around queer reproductive experiences

• Birth spaces that don’t feel safe for all bodies and families

For many queer parents, this leads to medical trauma, anxiety, invisibility, or the exhausting need to educate others during a time when they should be held with care.

What Inclusive Care Really Means

True inclusivity isn’t just about rainbow stickers in a waiting room. It’s about:

• Language that affirms (e.g., using “birthing person,” “partner,” or “chestfeeding”)

• Forms that reflect reality — diverse family structures, pronoun fields, open identity options

• Spaces that feel safe — emotionally, physically, spiritually

• Care that’s trauma-informed, anti-racist, and queer-liberatory

• Providers who listen without assumption, judgment, or agenda

Inclusive care sees you. All of you. And celebrates the richness of your journey.

Real Talk: Emotional Layers of Queer Pregnancy

Pregnancy and postpartum come with layers for everyone — but for queer folks, there can be extra threads:

• Grieving the lack of cultural representation

• Navigating identity shifts in a world that doesn’t “get it”

• Dealing with dysphoria, especially in medical spaces

• Navigating family dynamics that may not be supportive

• Constantly translating or advocating for your needs

These are real experiences. And you are not alone in them.

We believe it’s possible to hold joy, grief, pride, exhaustion, and transformation all at once. That’s the truth of many queer parenting journeys.

What You Deserve

You deserve care that honors your:

• Pronouns and name

• Parenting title (Mama, Baba, Papa, Zaza, Dada — all valid)

• Body, regardless of how you identify

• Family structure — polyamorous, solo, co-parents, trans families — ALL families

• Choice in how you feed, birth, and recover

• Right to feel safe, empowered, and celebrated

You also deserve not to have to explain yourself at every turn.

How to Advocate for Yourself (Or Support Someone Else)

If you're navigating this system as a queer parent or support person:

• Ask providers how they practice inclusive care

• Bring a support person or doula who understands your identity

• Share your pronouns and birth preferences upfront

• Make space for your own emotional needs — therapy, peer support, journaling

• Find affirming spaces (like Simple Smyles!) that hold you without condition

Let’s Keep This Conversation Going

What’s your experience been like as a queer or LGBTQ+ parent or birther?
What made you feel safe — or unsafe? What helped you feel held?

Drop your story in the comments or send us a DM. We are always learning, listening, and making space for your voice. 💛

You’re Not Alone in This

You deserve to be cared for — not despite who you are, but because of who you are.

At Simple Smyles, we’re committed to building spaces and services that reflect the full beauty of our community. That means workshops, guides, and care rooted in intersectionality, inclusion, and joy.

You are welcome here. Fully.

How Partners Can Truly Support During Labour (It’s More Than Just Holding a Hand)

You’ve read the books. You’ve packed the snacks. You’ve practiced rubbing that one spot on their lower back that earned you “best partner” points in trimester three.

But when it’s go time — when labour kicks in and everything starts to move — you might find yourself wondering:
“What do I actually DO to help right now?”

The truth is, your role is so much bigger than it might seem. Whether you’re a romantic partner, a friend, a co-parent, or a chosen family member — your presence matters.

Here’s how to show up with calm, confidence, and care.

1. Be the Calm in the Room

Labour can bring intensity — physically, emotionally, spiritually. Your job? Ground the space.

• Keep your tone soft, even if things feel chaotic

• Watch the birther’s cues — less talking, more attuning

• Breathe with them (literally — mirror their rhythm)

• Keep unnecessary noise or stress out of the room

Simple Smyles Tip: You don’t have to “fix” anything. Just be there. That’s powerful in itself.

2. Be on Comfort + Logistics Duty

Little things go a long way. Be the person handling the practical stuff so your birthing person can stay in the zone.

• Offer sips of water or electrolyte drinks

• Keep lip balm handy (their lips will dry out!)

• Get a cool cloth for their forehead or neck

• Offer physical comfort: hip squeezes, massage, counter-pressure

• Advocate for dim lights, quiet, or more space as needed

Bonus points if you pack a “birth toolkit” with snacks, essential oils, tennis balls, or affirmation cards.

3. Be the Voice When They Can’t Speak

Sometimes in labour, especially during active labour or transition, it’s hard for the birthing person to speak for themselves. You can be their voice.

• Know the birth preferences ahead of time

• Ask questions if something feels rushed or unclear

• Pause and say, “We need a minute to decide”

• Make sure they feel respected and safe

Big energy isn’t always needed. Quiet advocacy can be just as powerful.

4. Be the Emotional Anchor

This is a big moment. For both of you. And it’s okay if you’re feeling nervous too. But if you can steady yourself, you help steady them.

• Reassure them that they’re doing beautifully

• Make eye contact. Hold their hand. Stay close.

• Validate whatever they’re feeling: “I hear you. I’m here.”

• Remind them how strong they are — especially when they forget

💛 Remember: love is a form of medicine.

5. Keep Showing Up After Baby Arrives

Labour support doesn’t stop when the baby is born.

• Be skin-to-skin ready if they can’t do it right away

• Help them get comfortable for feeding or recovery

• Snap a photo — they may want to see this moment later

• Ask what they need in that hour or two after birth (water? food? a blanket?)

• Celebrate. Cry. Breathe. You did this together.

A Note on All Partners

Not every birth partner is a romantic partner. Support roles can be filled by best friends, doulas, parents, chosen family, or co-parents. If you’re reading this, you’re already doing the work of showing up with intention — and that matters.

You don’t have to do it perfectly. Just do it with heart.

Let’s Talk in the Comments:

If you supported someone through labour, what helped you feel prepared? And birthing parents — what do you wish your support person had done (or did do!) that made a big difference?

Drop it below — let’s learn from each other. 💛

Want More Real Talk + Practical Prep?

Join us for Week 2 of The Journey — where we dig into labour, pain management, partner prep, and emotional readiness for birth.
Click here to save your spot https://www.simplesmyles.com/booking.