The First Birthday: A Milestone Full of Joy, Grief, and Growth
Your baby's first birthday is a joyful milestone — but it can also stir up unexpected emotions. Here's my story, and why feeling it all is more than okay.
The Emotions Behind Your Baby’s First Birthday
When we picture our baby's first birthday, we often imagine balloons, laughter, and cake-smeared smiles. And while those moments are real and joyful, there’s often another layer too — one that's heavier, more complicated, and deeply emotional.
If you’re feeling a mix of happiness, grief, pride, and sadness as your baby’s first birthday approaches, you are not alone. Let’s explore why the first birthday can feel so unexpectedly emotional, and why every feeling you have is completely valid.
My Story: Grieving and Celebrating at the Same Time
At the very beginning of becoming athday experience) mom, I was drowning — like so many new parents — in recovering from my C-section, sleepless nights, painful breastfeeding, teething, and simply adjusting to an entirely new life. Every day felt like an uphill battle.
But somewhere in those early months, I found a version of myself I absolutely loved.
I was still sleep-deprived, but I began to long for the late-night cuddles, the quiet walks through High Park, the warm summer days, and the sense of real-life purpose that motherhood gave me. I had never in my life felt so important, so needed, so accomplished — and so proud.
And then came the teeth. The standing. The walking.
Suddenly, my little potato was becoming a real, independent person — and I was not prepared for how fast it all came at me.
As his first birthday approached, I started to feel overwhelmed with anxiety.
The idea of people saying, “He’s not a baby anymore,” was almost unbearable.
Leading up to the day, I cried more times than I could count. Even during his Zoom birthday party — smiling and laughing with everyone — I was quietly doing everything I could to hold back my tears.
I was so proud.
I was so grateful.
And at the same time... I was grieving.
Why the First Birthday Feels So Emotional
Your baby's first birthday isn't just a celebration of their growth — it's a milestone marking your growth too.
In one whirlwind year, you went through a profound transformation: physically, emotionally, mentally. You nurtured, soothed, taught, protected, and loved in ways you never had before.
The first birthday often brings a quiet grief — for the newborn days, the tiny snuggles, the "firsts" you can't repeat. It marks the closing of a precious chapter and the start of a brand new (and just as beautiful) one.
Grieving that change doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you human.
What I Wish I Knew: For Any Parent Feeling This Way
If you’re approaching your baby's first birthday with a tangle of emotions, here’s what I want you to know:
It’s normal to grieve and celebrate at the same time. One emotion doesn’t cancel the other out.
Your feelings are valid. You are not "too sensitive," "too emotional," or "dramatic."
You’ve changed too. This birthday is a milestone for you as much as it is for your child.
Make space for your emotions. Cry if you need to. Reflect. Write it out. Talk about it.
Find small rituals to honor your journey. Write a letter to your baby. Write one to yourself. Plant something. Take a photo not just of them — but with them, and celebrate your first year too.
Making the First Birthday Meaningful (For You Too)
Simple ideas to help honor this emotional milestone:
Write a letter to your baby — or to yourself — about this first year together.
Create a memory box of little keepsakes from your baby's first year.
Plan a quiet moment for yourself before or after the party.
Plant a tree or a flower to symbolize your first year of growing together.
Connect with a community of parents who get it — you don't have to carry it alone.
Closing: A Gentle Reminder
Wherever you are right now — whether you're feeling joyful, heartbroken, anxious, or all of the above — know this:
You are not alone.
You are not failing.
You are standing at the doorway between two beautiful chapters — and it’s okay to cry at the threshold.
You and your baby have grown together in ways that words can hardly capture.
Celebrate them. Celebrate yourself.
You are doing a beautiful, brave job. 💛
Why Prenatal & Postnatal Mental Health Matters—For Both You and Baby
Pregnancy and parenthood are emotional rollercoasters—but too often, mental health gets overlooked. This post explores why prenatal and postpartum emotional wellbeing matters just as much as physical health, and how you can find support through community, education, and care. 💛
Let’s Talk About the Other Side of Pregnancy and Parenthood
When most people picture pregnancy, they imagine glowing skin, cute bumps, and dreamy nursery setups. When they think about postpartum, it’s soft snuggles and first smiles.
But between the Pinterest boards and baby registries, something big often gets missed: your mental health.
And here’s the truth: your emotional wellbeing is not a side note. It’s central to this whole journey.
Why Prenatal and Postnatal Mental Health Deserve More Attention
Pregnancy and postpartum are filled with rapid change. Physically, yes—but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And while care providers closely monitor blood pressure, belly measurements, and baby’s heartbeat…
Too often, no one’s checking in on you.
But research (and real life!) tells us that your mental health:
Affects how you bond with your baby
Impacts your sleep, energy, and relationships
Influences your baby’s brain and emotional development
Can shape how you experience birth, recovery, and parenting
This isn’t to scare you. It’s to affirm you. You deserve support that sees your whole self—not just your uterus.
Why It Gets Overlooked—And What We Can Do About It
So why isn’t this talked about more? A few reasons:
🩺 Medical models prioritize physical outcomes.
Providers are often trained to focus on physical health and miss emotional red flags.
💬 Cultural messages push perfection.
Parents—especially birthing people—are expected to “bounce back,” stay grateful, and push through, even when they’re falling apart inside.
🤫 Shame and stigma still linger.
Many parents fear being judged if they admit they’re struggling. But vulnerability is strength, not weakness.
✨ But here’s what we know changes everything:
Community. Education. Support. When we talk about what’s real, share resources, and make mental wellness part of the conversation—not an afterthought—everything shifts.
Signs Your Mental Health Might Need a Little Extra Love
Whether you’re pregnant or postpartum, here are a few signs it’s time to check in:
Constant anxiety or racing thoughts
Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected
Trouble sleeping (even when baby sleeps)
Irritability, sadness, or hopelessness
Guilt about not “loving every moment”
Difficulty bonding with baby
Feeling like you’re “not yourself”
If any of this hits home—please know you are not alone. You are not failing. You are feeling. And there is help.
How to Support Your Mental Health—And Your Baby’s
💛 Build a village that gets it.
Surround yourself with people who lift you, check in on you, and offer support without judgment—whether that’s a partner, doula, therapist, or a friend who brings snacks and sits on the floor with you.
💛 Get educated before the overwhelm.
The more you know about the mental load of new parenthood, the better prepared you’ll be. Attend workshops, ask questions, and make a plan for postpartum—not just the birth.
💛 Seek therapy or counselling.
Talking to a perinatal therapist (even once or twice!) can help you feel seen and supported through the hard parts. In Ontario, many therapy sessions are covered under extended benefits.
💛 Join peer support spaces.
Online or in-person—connecting with others who get it can reduce isolation and remind you that you’re not the only one navigating big feelings.
💛 Normalize the full range of emotions.
You can be wildly in love with your baby and feel overwhelmed. These things are not mutually exclusive. Both are true. Both are valid.
You Deserve More Than Survival Mode
This isn’t about pretending pregnancy and parenthood are easy. It’s about being honest: this is life-changing work.
And life-changing work deserves care.
Deserves softness.
Deserves a circle of support that doesn’t flinch when things feel heavy.
Let’s rewrite the story together. One where mental health is part of the plan—not an emergency detour. One where we hold parents with as much tenderness as we hold their babies.
You don’t have to do this alone. 💛