The First Birthday: A Milestone Full of Joy, Grief, and Growth

The Emotions Behind Your Baby’s First Birthday

When we picture our baby's first birthday, we often imagine balloons, laughter, and cake-smeared smiles. And while those moments are real and joyful, there’s often another layer too — one that's heavier, more complicated, and deeply emotional.

If you’re feeling a mix of happiness, grief, pride, and sadness as your baby’s first birthday approaches, you are not alone. Let’s explore why the first birthday can feel so unexpectedly emotional, and why every feeling you have is completely valid.

My Story: Grieving and Celebrating at the Same Time

At the very beginning of becoming athday experience) mom, I was drowning — like so many new parents — in recovering from my C-section, sleepless nights, painful breastfeeding, teething, and simply adjusting to an entirely new life. Every day felt like an uphill battle.

But somewhere in those early months, I found a version of myself I absolutely loved.

I was still sleep-deprived, but I began to long for the late-night cuddles, the quiet walks through High Park, the warm summer days, and the sense of real-life purpose that motherhood gave me. I had never in my life felt so important, so needed, so accomplished — and so proud.

And then came the teeth. The standing. The walking.
Suddenly, my little potato was becoming a real, independent person — and I was not prepared for how fast it all came at me.

As his first birthday approached, I started to feel overwhelmed with anxiety.
The idea of people saying, “He’s not a baby anymore,” was almost unbearable.
Leading up to the day, I cried more times than I could count. Even during his Zoom birthday party — smiling and laughing with everyone — I was quietly doing everything I could to hold back my tears.

I was so proud.
I was so grateful.
And at the same time... I was grieving.

Why the First Birthday Feels So Emotional

Your baby's first birthday isn't just a celebration of their growth — it's a milestone marking your growth too.

In one whirlwind year, you went through a profound transformation: physically, emotionally, mentally. You nurtured, soothed, taught, protected, and loved in ways you never had before.

The first birthday often brings a quiet grief — for the newborn days, the tiny snuggles, the "firsts" you can't repeat. It marks the closing of a precious chapter and the start of a brand new (and just as beautiful) one.

Grieving that change doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you human.

What I Wish I Knew: For Any Parent Feeling This Way

If you’re approaching your baby's first birthday with a tangle of emotions, here’s what I want you to know:

• It’s normal to grieve and celebrate at the same time. One emotion doesn’t cancel the other out.

• Your feelings are valid. You are not "too sensitive," "too emotional," or "dramatic."

• You’ve changed too. This birthday is a milestone for you as much as it is for your child.

• Make space for your emotions. Cry if you need to. Reflect. Write it out. Talk about it.

• Find small rituals to honor your journey. Write a letter to your baby. Write one to yourself. Plant something. Take a photo not just of them — but with them, and celebrate your first year too.

Making the First Birthday Meaningful (For You Too)

Simple ideas to help honor this emotional milestone:

• Write a letter to your baby — or to yourself — about this first year together.

• Create a memory box of little keepsakes from your baby's first year.

• Plan a quiet moment for yourself before or after the party.

• Plant a tree or a flower to symbolize your first year of growing together.

• Connect with a community of parents who get it — you don't have to carry it alone.

Closing: A Gentle Reminder

Wherever you are right now — whether you're feeling joyful, heartbroken, anxious, or all of the above — know this:
You are not alone.
You are not failing.
You are standing at the doorway between two beautiful chapters — and it’s okay to cry at the threshold.

You and your baby have grown together in ways that words can hardly capture.
Celebrate them. Celebrate yourself.
You are doing a beautiful, brave job. 💛

Embracing — and Grieving — Your New Season of Life

When you imagine becoming a parent, you expect the love.
You expect the joy.
You expect the overwhelming emotions.

What we don’t always talk about is the grief that comes with it too —
the quiet mourning of the life you left behind.
The identity you are suddenly no longer sure how to find.

At Simple Smyles, we believe in honoring all parts of the journey — the beautiful, the messy, the surprising, and the heavy.
Because becoming a parent isn’t just about meeting your baby.
It’s about meeting a new version of yourself, too.

A Story from Our Founder

I can remember feeling so nervous about becoming a mom.
What if my kiddo didn’t like me?
What if it didn’t come naturally?
What if I didn’t even like being a mom?

I distinctly remember one day — sitting on the toilet, still trying to take my first poop after my C-section (the glamorous postpartum moments no one warns you about) —
struggling with breastfeeding, drowning in sleepless nights, and trying to navigate it all in the height of a global pandemic.

I sat there and thought:
"What the eff have I done with my life? I’ve ruined it."

It’s hard to admit.
Especially when everything we’re taught says that women are supposed to be naturally, effortlessly, joyfully maternal.
That wasn’t my immediate response — and that truth felt heavy to carry alone.

Later, when my girlfriends started having kids, they would admit the same thing to me, quietly and in secret:
"I love my baby so much... but sometimes I miss my old life too."
"Sometimes I wonder if I'm cut out for this."

And the truth is — even now, with my kiddo four years old,
there are still days where I catch myself thinking:
"Man... things used to be so fun and easy."

Grief and Joy Can Exist Together

You can love your child more than life itself —
and still miss the parts of yourself that felt freer, lighter, wilder.
You can feel profoundly grateful —
and still feel profoundly sad sometimes.

✨ Both can be true.
✨ Both are normal.
✨ Both are allowed.

Parenthood isn't about giving up who you were — it's about learning how to weave that old self into the new version of you that's emerging.
It’s about holding space for the "before" while bravely stepping into the "after."

It's Okay to Take Time to Find Yourself Again

The truth is, you won't "bounce back" — and you’re not supposed to.
You are evolving, not undoing.

It's okay if it takes time to feel like yourself again — or to discover that your "new self" is someone entirely different, and still deeply worthy.
You don't have to rush your healing.
You don't have to rush your becoming.

Every phase — the confusion, the grief, the stretching and growing — is part of the beautiful, messy masterpiece of who you are now.

Your Body is Not Broken — It’s a Testament to Your Story

Your body may look and feel different after birth.
That doesn’t make it defective — it makes it extraordinary.

Stretch marks, scars, softened curves — they are not imperfections; they are inscriptions of love, endurance, and creation.
You are not less. You are more.

More resilient.
More powerful.
More breathtaking in ways that have nothing to do with the mirror and everything to do with the life you carry, hold, and nurture.

How to Embrace Your New Season of Life

• Give yourself permission to grieve without guilt.

• Speak lovingly to your reflection — the same way you would speak to a friend.

• Let go of the pressure to "get back" to anything — forward is beautiful too.

• Celebrate small wins (a shower, a hot coffee, a deep breath of quiet) as sacred victories.

• Ask for help — and believe you deserve it.

Your life has changed — and yes, parts of it have been left behind.
But in their place, new parts are blooming.

Trust that joy can grow right alongside grief.
Trust that this season, even in its wildness, is shaping you in extraordinary ways.

Finding Community and Support Matters

You don't have to carry all of this alone.
There is real magic in finding people who say, “Me too.”

• Reach out to postpartum groups, community centers, parent meet-ups — even virtual ones if needed.

• Talk to other parents about the highs and the lows.

• Connect with doulas, lactation consultants, mental health professionals — people trained to hold space for the realness.

• Let your circle hold you, even when you feel messy, complicated, or unsure.

You were never meant to do this alone. 💛

If You’re Feeling This Too, Please Know:

🌿 You have not failed.
🌿 You are not ungrateful.
🌿 You are not alone.

You are allowed to feel everything — and still be an amazing parent, an amazing human, and an evolving work of art.

We see you.
We celebrate you.
We are walking right beside you.

Emotional Health Matters:

At Simple Smyles, we believe that your emotional well-being is just as important as your physical recovery.
If you're struggling with feelings of grief, sadness, or overwhelm after becoming a parent, please know that you are not alone — and help is always available.
Reaching out for support is a courageous, loving step for you and your family. 💛

Hiring a Doula in Ontario: Is It Worth It?

If you’ve landed here, chances are you’ve heard the word “doula” floating around your prenatal world—and you’re curious. Maybe you’re wondering if you really need one, or if it’s just another trendy birth add-on. Let’s clear that up, together.

At Simple Smyles, we’re big believers in informed choices and personalized care. So this post isn’t about convincing you that everyone should hire a doula. It’s about helping you understand what doulas do (and what they don’t), how they might support you, and what to consider when deciding if they’re the right fit for your journey.

What Is a Doula?

A doula is a trained, non-medical support person who provides emotional, physical, and informational support before, during, and after birth. Think of them as your calm, grounded, go-to support person—someone whose only job is to help you feel seen, supported, and safe.

There are two main types of doulas:

• Birth Doulas support you throughout your pregnancy, labour, and delivery.

• Postpartum Doulas support you after baby is born—helping with feeding, sleep, emotional recovery, and adjusting to new parenthood.

✨ What they DON’T do:
Doulas don’t offer medical care. They don’t deliver babies, make diagnoses, or replace your doctor or midwife. Instead, they work with your care team to help you advocate for yourself and feel as prepared, informed, and calm as possible.

Why Hire a Doula? (The Real-Life Benefits)

Research shows that continuous support from a doula can lead to:

• Shorter labours

• Fewer requests for pain medication

• Lower risk of c-sections

• Higher rates of breastfeeding

• Better emotional adjustment postpartum

But beyond the stats, here’s what our clients say they value most:

• Someone who gets it—and helps explain what’s happening

• A steady presence in the room (who isn’t family or medical staff)

• Comfort techniques like breathing, counter-pressure, and positioning

• A gentle advocate when emotions run high or plans shift

• Emotional check-ins during those early, foggy postpartum days

How Doulas Fit Into Your Birth Team

Great news: doulas complement your care team—they don’t compete with them.

• If you’re working with an OB in a hospital, your doula can bridge the gap between medical care and emotional support.

• If you’ve chosen a midwife, a doula offers continuity during labour and can stay after birth to help you transition into postpartum.

• If you have a partner or co-parent, doulas don’t replace them—in fact, they often strengthen your bond. We support both of you through the experience.

In other words: doulas hold space so everyone else can show up more fully.

How Much Does a Doula Cost in Ontario?

Doula services aren’t currently covered under OHIP, but they may be covered under:

• Extended health benefits (check your “health spending account” or wellness benefits)

• Employee wellness funds

• First Nations, Métis, or Inuit-specific programs

• Student insurance plans

Typical rates (as of 2025):

• Birth support packages: $900–$1,800+ depending on experience and what’s included

• Postpartum doula hourly rate: $30–$50/hour

At Simple Smyles, we also offer payment plans and are happy to work with your budget when we can. We believe in accessible care.

When to Book a Doula (And How)

We recommend reaching out to book your doula around 20–28 weeks of pregnancy. This gives you time to:

• Get to know your doula

• Build a birth plan together

• Access prenatal education and emotional support well before labour

Most doulas offer a free consultation (we do!), so you can chat and see if the vibe feels right.

Questions to Ask When Hiring a Doula

Here are some great conversation starters:

• What’s your birth philosophy?

• How do you support partners or other support people?

• How do you handle unexpected situations (like a fast labour or C-section)?

• Are you available 24/7 after a certain week?

• What happens if you’re at another birth? Do you have a backup doula?

The goal is to find someone you feel emotionally safe with. You should leave your consult feeling supported—not sold to.

Final Thoughts: So... Is It Worth It?

We might be a little biased, but we say yes—if it’s in your budget and it feels like the right fit for you. Doulas don’t make your birth experience perfect (no one can). But they can help it feel more connected, grounded, and supported.

Whether you’re planning an unmedicated birth, an epidural, or a scheduled C-section—this is your story. A doula is just one more layer of care to help you feel less alone, more informed, and more in tune with yourself and your baby.

You deserve that kind of care.

💛 Want to learn more about working with a Simple Smyles doula?
Click here to book a free consultation or browse our Toronto-based offerings!